Observing our thoughts, finding space within tension
photo by Rob Csaszar edited with original drawing
February is here and I'm still feeling into my own rhythm, albeit awkwardly. The arrival of a new month, for me, invites deep-rooted anxiety around my “productivity,” “output,” and “impact.” I am eager to create new trance offerings, initiate personal projects, and to be a student of other disciplines that can complement my work.
I am also noticing that words and ideas are not readily coming to me, hindering my sense of action and leaving me feeling stuck.
When I tease this tension out, I find that I am resisting what really wants to be said/felt/acted upon:
REST. RECONFIGURE. GO DEEPER WITHIN TO MOVE WITHOUT.
Are you sure? I ask.
Are you sure you don't need to try harder?
Are you sure you're not just being lazy? It seems like everyone else is moving and doing important things.
And, still it's:
REST. RECONFIGURE. GO DEEPER WITHIN TO MOVE WITHOUT.
As I continue to feel into this dialogue with myself, trying to release the resistance in my body, truer words and ideas emerge in the moment:
Permission
Silence
Gestation
Tune in / tune up
Weave
Spider/web
Wave/wash
Root
Seed
Song
Breath
Crescendo
Although the meaning of these things has yet to be woven into something more tangible, they carry a charge, an essence, a potential energy: a space in which to e x p a n d, rather than a distinct form in which to fit.
Interdisciplinary artist, intuitive, writer, educator, and community organizer Eliza Swann shares in their book The Anatomy of the Aura:
“One of the key principles of quantum physics is that our thoughts determine reality. In the early 1900s physicists using the double-slit experiment found that the determining factor of the behavior of energy particles at the quantum level is the awareness of the observer. This means that our observations of matter influence how our world is shaped.
…When we learn to work with our field of beliefs and mental patterns, we are better able to deautomate our thought processes and change our beliefs at will. By deautomating our thoughts, we can reshape the world!”
Observation calls for a certain degree of presence and stillness. In taking the time to observe my own rhythms and patterns, I allow for more space to see other threads of possibility. Perhaps this strange, liminal place is what's between “deautomation” and the reshaping of our world.
This often plays out in my sessions with clients, who come to this work ready to change their current reality or shift areas of limitation. Much of this process is about observing ourselves, while extending grace to and becoming present with the parts of ourselves experiencing tension, weight or even pain. While cultivating more awareness, we can better question our reality, challenge beliefs we've lived out as fact, and imagine and embody more generous, regenerative possibilities for ourselves.
Some questions to consider:
Where do you currently notice tension within you?
What parts of you are at odds with each other?
Are there automatic thoughts / beliefs charging this tension?
Can you challenge these automatic thoughts?
If this tension could speak, what would it share with you?
What if each moment was an opportunity to pause, observe and adjust?
What possibilities are you imagining? Do they restrict or nurture you?
If you're seeking support, my hypnosis and past life regression books are currently open. If you're seeking more clarity around how this work can help you, you can schedule a consultation here.
With gratitude,
Kristen
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